Why it’s Hard to Accept Reality (as it is) when you have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
In a nutshell, accepting reality (as it is) means being able to make the wisest possible decision...
Many of us live in societies where money is constantly being exchanged for goods and services (free-market economies); and because of this, we are frequently exposed to people, groups, and companies attempting to sell us many things (including beliefs and ideas). Living like this has both human costs and benefits attached to it, although there is much disagreement as to what the costs and benefits are, who they apply to, and when they apply. Consider for a moment how there are always two sides to a political spectrum (left and right) and how they are almost always at odds with each other.
In my own experience working with people who have mental health problems AND who depend on money for survival, I believe the psychological costs of these living arrangements are not commonly understood. And when the psychological costs of living a certain way are not commonly understood or agreed upon, then the psychological costs end up being paid again and again by the psychologically vulnerable (those with whom I often meet).
Whether we like it or not, or can admit to it or not, the reality seems to be that the less sensitive/less psychologically vulnerable types of humans usually maintain a discreet dominance over those who are more sensitive and psychologically vulnerable. One possible reason for this pattern might be that the less sensitive types seem to be able to function longer, and without obvious distress, in circumstances that are neglectful to mental health (e.g., free-market economies). But does this difference suggest that the less sensitive types of humans are “stronger” than the others, or perhaps “less human?” I’ll leave that for you to ponder.
Two areas of psychological sensitivity that seem to get targeted or manipulated (either directly or indirectly) in free-market economies are feelings of worth and feelings of security. In other words, the available products and services are often aimed at ARTIFICIALLY enhancing feelings of worth and security, and therefore creating a dependency to continue purchasing and using the products and services indefinitely. In order to keep humans paying INDEFINITELY, it makes sense that you can’t be setting them up for psychological/emotional freedom, but rather a dependency, a false sense of security, and even arguably, slavery.
In my work in mental health, it has become increasingly apparent that people living in free-market economies tend to be ultra-focused on activities that do not enhance their understanding of mental health, but rather that keep them distracted and TEMPORARILY satisfied/psychologically content. For example, it is very common to meet people who have “bought into” dieting plans, career plans, spiritual plans, business plans, financial plans, entertainment trends, fashion trends, and material trends. And if these areas of interest become a primary focus when you are a sensitive type of human, then to eventually suffer from mental health issues is very understandable, simply because of NEGLECT to take care (to engage in practices that actually make you psychologically/emotionally free).
I myself have suffered from persistent depression, panic disorder, and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in the past. I believe my sickness had much to do with my “buying into” ways of living that kept me believing I was worthy and secure, but in fact, were keeping me HIGHLY negligent to take proper care of myself. I believed I had worth and was secure when I had the ability to buy things, impress others, and “correctly conform” to the systems and institutions I belonged to. But in fact, I did not know my own worth and remained highly insecure.
When I did experience feelings of worth and security, these were only short-lived, meaning I was not capable of remaining settled in my body without mental health symptoms unless I could get another “fix” (I was addicted to finding proof of my worth and security). Nonetheless, I still had harmful reactions to my extreme low-worth feelings and intense insecurities, and these, to me, acted as proof that something wasn’t right about the way I was living. Indeed, I wasn’t really taking proper care of myself, even though I believed all along that all I was doing was enough.
I think you can tell when something you are doing or buying is intended to keep you dependent and addicted (and sick), and that is if that thing you are doing or buying requires that you keep coming back for more and more, indefinitely. Another way to tell if the thing you are doing or buying is intended to keep you dependent and addicted (and sick) is if it continually draws your attention away from essential matters of health and well-being (e.g., mental health). If you find yourself suffering from ongoing mental health issues and remaining dependent and addicted to something only to temporarily get satisfaction, then you have probably “bought into” a false sense of security and kept it going at your own long-term expense to health and quality of life.
It is absolutely possible for a person to begin learning about himself and his illness, and likewise to begin doing practices that effectively nurture awareness of inherent self-worth and security. However, keep in mind that learning how to free yourself from the false sense of security you have “bought into” will probably be viewed by others as an act of rebellion. Some might even say you are “rebelling against the economic order of things”, or “against God” since you are not accepting ongoing dependency on systems and institutions to remain content within yourself.
Taking your mental health into your own hands in free-market economies means you are no longer willing to purchase the artificial worth and security that is so readily available. Rather, you are learning how to take care of yourself in such a way that you do not need to remain dependent, addicted, and sick. And with vicious mental conditions like Borderline Personality Disorder that get stirred up in free-market economies (through neglect to know and care about mental health), who could blame you for wanting to be rid of it?
You can take care of yourself in such a way that you no longer pay the psychological (and monetary) costs associated with living in a free market. You can learn that you have inherent worth. You can learn how to be secure within yourself. And so, the false sense of security you were once dependent on, in time, can be released.
In a nutshell, accepting reality (as it is) means being able to make the wisest possible decision...
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